You can't roller stake in a buffalo herd

Fic: Earth’s Mightest Heroes. Sort of. (2/?)

Fandom: Marvel movie-verse

Summary: This is the team they picked to save the world. Game on, bro.

“

Despite being a technological whiz kid, Tony never really played any video games growing up. Or maybe it’s because of it. He’s always just seen them as sort of boring, and was far more interested in taking them apart to check out the wiring and programing. And his father had never scolded him for breaking into the consoles because it meant Tony wasn’t sneaking Howard’s projects out of his lab.

So he knows plenty about games, because the entertainment department has a few platforms, but he’s not really into any of it. Or, he’s not until Steve starts to show an interest.

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Fic: Back to Green (5/?)

Fandom: The Lorax

Summary: Life in the Truffula Valley after Ted plants the last seed. Things are really starting to come together.

“

It’s another year before they see signs of real wildlife in the valley. Oh sure, there’s been some occasional bugs, but nothing substantial. The Truffula seedlings are slowly growing. The wild ones in the valley are a couple of inches tall, their tiny tuffs adding spots of color everywhere. Ted informs the Once-ler that the tree in town is nearly six inches long, its pink tuff forming a full puff.

The first animal that’s seen doesn’t stay. It doesn’t even land. It’s a swomme swan that flies over the town, low enough that the people can hear it honking. Ted tells the Once-ler how amazing it was to hear a real animal like that without the slightly mechanical undertones of the robotic bees or alley strays that had been in place before.

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Fic: Earth’s Mightest Heroes. Sort of. (1/?)

Fandom: Marvel movie-verse

Summary: This is the team they picked to save the world.

Notes: And here is the point where I lost control of my life. These will all basically be drabbles and nonsense based on my more crackish headcanons. I’m sorry for all of this.

“

He’s totally minding his own business, just sitting at the island bar in the kitchen, a jumble of wires spread out before him. Natasha is digging around in the refrigerator, looking for the left over souls of small children, Tony assumes. Because obviously that’s not where the vodka is.

There’s a sudden clanging, and Tony looks up on reflex. Natasha is standing there, stalk still, and on the ground by her feet is an extremely large syringe.

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Fic: Fine

Fandom: Marvel movie-verse

Summary: Now it’s Steve’s turn to worry about Bucky.

“

They’re the last ones to make it out of the factory. They’re bruised and cut and limping—or Bucky is, at least; Steve looks like new, minus the rips in his jacket and a couple of soot smears—but they’re alive and whole. They don’t stop running until they make it to the clearing in the woods where all the other prisoners are waiting. Bucky stops, bent in half, hands on his knees as he struggles to get his breath back. Steve isn’t even winded. Bucky has a lot of questions about that, but for now, he just looks up at his friend through sweat soaked bangs and grins.

Steve’s face looks like it’s about to split in half, and he all but tackles Bucky. They go down hard, and Jesus Christ, that smarts, but Bucky’s too happy to care. He’s out of that God forsaken factory, and Steve is here. Steve busted him out.

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Fic: Back to Green (4/?)

Fandom: The Lorax

Summary: Life in the Truffula Valley after Ted plants the last seed. Being articulate is hard for a teenaged boy.

It’s nearing the end of May. Summer is fast approaching. It’s a prospect that Ted is most excited about. The boy rambles on and on about his summer plans, what he’s going to do, who he’s going to be with, and he takes the time to assure the Once-ler that he’ll be able to come out to the Lurkim even more. And with all that extra time, Ted suggests, they could paint his house. The Once-ler thinks they needn’t bother. After all, so few people see it, and he’s perfectly fine with the way it is. But as soon as Audrey hears the idea, she’s in a twitter, and the Once-ler can’t say no to such enthusiasm. She spends the rest of the afternoon gushing about patterns and colors. She assures him that she won’t paint Truffula trees on the house because when the valley is regrown the house will just be swallowed up by it. The Once-ler doesn’t bother to mention that he won’t be around long enough for that to matter.

But he does notice that Ted looks rather proud of himself after all is said and done.

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Fic: Back to Green (3/?)

Fandom: The Lorax

Summary: Life in the Truffula Valley after Ted plants the last seed. Smoking is a bad habbit.

“

Although they’re all so very thankful for the rains, they sometimes prevent Ted from coming out to the Lurkim. The Once-ler has told him to not come out during bad weather. Ted knows the way very well, but he’s not used to wet roads yet, and the last thing the Once-ler wants is Ted getting hurt.

It’s a Sunday, and it’s been off and on drizzling all day. The storm is almost completely passed over the area. The weather has been grey for nearly the entire week. It’s meant less time outside, which has reminded the Once-ler a little bit more of the years before Ted, when he never ventured outside, when he just sat around his home in utter misery.

But it’s not so bad anymore. Sure, he’s stuck inside, but he has some things to do. Audrey had thought to bring him books, and he’s been enjoying them. It’s a peaceful way to pass time, to just sit in his chair with the lamp lit and a book in hand. He’s got a hot cup of tea just within reach.

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Fic: Back to Green (2/?)

Fandom: The Lorax

Summary: Life in the Truffula Valley after Ted plants the last seed. Bring on the rains.

Notes: I know acid rain doesn’t work like that. Just go with it.

The Once-ler is pleasantly surprised one Saturday morning to walk out onto his porch upon hearing the rumble of Ted’s uni-scooter and see a brilliant head of red hair poking out from behind the boy. The two children climb off the bike, and Ted waves enthusiastically. “Hi, Mr. Once-ler,” he calls. The Once-ler lifts his hand in a calmer greeting. Ted turns to the girl and takes her hand, starting to pull her towards the house. She looks shy, so the Once-ler just smiles kindly under his moustache. “Mr. Once-ler, this is Audrey,” Ted introduces. “Audrey, this is the Once-ler.”

The Once-ler holds out a hand for her to shake. “It’s very nice to meet you, Miss Audrey,” he says. “Ted speaks of you often.”

“You too, all the time,” she says, almost squeaks. “Or—I mean—you’ve—well—you’ve had such a huge impact and—oh, I should shut up. But I just, it’s so great to finally meet you. I just—if it’s ok—I just have so many questions.”

The Once-ler chuckles. Her fumbling is charming. “Keep her around, Ted,” he advises. Ted blushes but smiles.

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Fic: Back to Green (1/?)

Fandom: The Lorax

Summary/Notes: Life in the Truffula Valley after Ted plants the last seed. I decided to write this because most of the fics I see involving the Old Once-ler are Norma-ler fics, and meh. I’m a lot more interested in the friendship between the Once-ler and Ted. So this will just be a collection of drabbles. Enjoy.

“

The Once-ler has never really had a friend before. As a child, he was always shunned within the family, and that had translated to school too. He was smart, too smart for most of the other children, and he had been teased relentlessly for it. Not to mention the way he’d lieved with his head in teh clouds. And then, when he had left home and traveled the world before coming to rest in the Truffula Valley, the animals there had liked him because he had a warm house and marshmallows. He certainly hadn’t had any friends, not real ones anyway, once he became successful, just staff and employees.

Just about the one person he tried calling his friend had brushed him off.

But that was all years and years ago. The Once-ler has long since resigned himself to a lonely existence. Living alone, with only his crippling guilt and remorse, for over fifty years helped with that some.

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Fic: Smile

Fandom: Marvel movie-verse

Summary: Steve is sick. Bucky worries.

“

Steve doesn’t show up to school that day. Really, Bucky doesn’t give it too much thought. It happens sometimes, and it’s a mean thought, but it makes playing ball during the break a lot easier without having to defend Steve’s small size and asthma.

When they’re dismissed for the day, Bucky is the first out the door, hollering over his shoulder that he’ll meet up with the guys later. It won’t take him very long to head over to Steve’s apartment to see why he wasn’t around.

He knocks on the door and smiles winningly when Mrs. Rogers answers a moment later. She’s looking a little more harried than usual, but she greets him kindly as always. “Hello, Mrs. Rogers,” Bucky says nicely, the way his ma taught him. “Steve wasn’t in school today.”

“No,” she agrees. “He’s feeling under the weather.”

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Fic: They Actually Gave Us A Ship? (13/?)

Fandom: Star Trek XI

Summary: The USS Enterprise. Starfleet gave a flagship to a bunch of kids. Sequel to They Actually Recruited Us? Same ideas, but now everyone’s graduated and on the Enterprise.

“

Jim was nothing short of a magnificent thrower of parties, but when he teamed up with Gaila, they became a force so powerful that there were no words to describe the aftermath. Chekov was turning eighteen, and Jim refused to let such an event pass by without celebration. Gaila was the first to jump on the boat, as she had adopted the youngest crewmember within thirty seconds of meeting him. Sulu, resident best friend—and possible crush, if rumors could be believed—was also throwing in his input.

As they went through the final motions of preparations, Bones had to wonder where Gaila had found the stripper. He didn’t recognize him from the crew roster. Chekov was required to take at least eighteen shots as the night progressed, and when he showed up to the rec room already swaying, Bones was sure the kid had started while still on shift. He couldn’t be positive, but Bones was sure such things would be frowned upon on other ships.

Chekov was given a paper crown and sash with the words “birthday boy” in bold letters. He claimed that in Russia it was a tradition for the guest of honor to receive kisses from all the women. Bones was sure that was horseshit, but his opinion went unheard, and Chekov’s face was quickly littered with lipstick.

The gifts that Chekov was showered with mostly included porn and gift cards to stores that catered to the adult crowd, along with what amounted to a fully stocked vodka bar and a lone bottle of scotch from Scotty.

The next morning, Jim came down to the sickbay for a hangover cure. While he was there, Bones proceeded to stab him with various other hyposprays that the captain had been putting off. “You like stabbing me,” Jim complained. “I’m serious, this is getting to be an issue. It’s innuendo, isn’t it? You’re dirtier than you want anyone to know.”

“Jim, stop being an infant,” Bones said, loading up a new hypo. If he’d heard Jim say all this once, he’d heard it a million times.

“All I’m saying is that there are better things that you could be stabbing me with—OW! Dammit, you’re going in too hard.”

“That’s what she said,” Chapel supplied from across the room.

“Thank you, Christine,” Jim called back. “That was lovely.” She flashed him a thumbs up before continuing her inventory of supplies as if nothing had happened. “She’s good at that. Now, where was I,” Jim asked. “Oh, yeah, everyone thinks we’re boning—haha, Bones boning—anyway, so why not just turn this stabbing fixation you’ve got into something that we can both enjoy?”

It wasn’t another full minute before Bones was chasing Jim from the sickbay, threatening all sorts of ancient medical horrors. Sulu and Riley stood wide-eyed on the other side of the doors, Chekov supported between them. “Um, this a bad time, doctor,” Sulu asked.

Bones frowned at Jim’s retreating back and said, “No, I’m just screaming at the captain. I can do that anytime. What’s the problem?”

“Well,” Sulu said, “you remember last night when Pavel pushed the stripper off the pole and took over the dancing?” Bones nodded (again, shouldn’t this be considered inappropriate behavior on a starship?). “And how he fell off and hit his head real good?” Bones nodded again.

“Well, he may have a concussion,” Riley said. “But the symptoms are the same as hangover, so we can’t tell.”

“Best eighteenth ever,” Chekov slurred.