captain america has merch, of course captain america has merch
his name’s been a brand since ww2, but the company that owed it pretty much put it on the back burner till the whole ‘alien invasion of new york schick’, when they began to see dollar signs. so for a good month or so the market was flooded with official captain america merch (as well as lots of bootlegged versions) till stark industries bought them out.
one day steve gets a knock at the door. it’s pepper, with one of the stark industries lawyers in tow, and probably rhodey too, because he wanted to fanboy hard. they sit steve down and explain to him that they’re giving him the rights to his own name (steve’s like what???? at first) and he can sell rights to whoever he wants to market his official merch.
and of course clothing/tech/toy companies are banging down his door
steve thinks for a while then
he signs on with a few companies which agree to give 40% of the profits to various charities. his own royalties he puts in a fund for the local VA. none of the companies use sweatshop labor or child labor, the majority have manufacturing plants in the us.
the same companies sign on sam, too, who is EXPONENTIALLY more excited about this than steve is. sam shows up at their first marketing meeting with 5 powerpoints and a huge binder of falcon toys he thought up in the shower, while steve sits in the corner doodling pictures of captain america bear hugging what looks suspiciously like a winter soldier bear
(the vp of marketing turns to steve and says, do you have anything to present, mr. rogers. steve just laughs nervously and slams his sketchbook shut)
in the movie a little boy recognises steve at the captain america exhibit. it’s my headcanon that a little girl recognises bucky when he goes to the smithsonian exhibit to find out who he really is
because little girls have heroes too
"You should tie your hair back," a little girl with pitch-black hair says to the Winter Soldier. He stares down at her, silent, but she continues undeterred. "Mommy says that we need to have our hair tied back or we’ll trip over things because we can’t see. She makes me wear these—" She displays her wrist, which is encircled by a rainbow of different hair bands. "—because mine keep falling out. You can’t fight evil if you can’t see it. I want to be a police officer when I grow up. Are you a…"
She trails off, her eyes steadily getting bigger. They dart to the large digital image of James Buchanan Barnes, then back to his face. The Winter Soldier’s eyes dart, too, over the exits and the crowd and the girl’s distracted mother—attempting to corral three other black-haired children—before landing back on the girl’s face, where an improbable grin has begun to grow.
"I knew it," she whispers.
The Winter Soldier blinks down at her, thrown off by the delight in her expression. No one is ever happy to see the Soldier.
The girl reins in her wide grin and does her own scan of the crowd. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell. People can’t handle the truth. But I can.” She turns her shining eyes back to the Soldier.
Slowly, very slowly, the Soldier reaches out with hands that have broken, maimed, strangled, shot, stabbed, and ripped apart human flesh. His voice creaks out of him, rusty with disuse. “Can I have a hair tie?”
Without taking her eyes off him, the girl rolls a light blue one out of the rainbow and hands it over.
headcanon that Sam makes dog jokes until the end of time
"Dean can you fetch me that book"
"I’m sorry Dean, I know hell must have been ruff for you"
"Wow that suspect was barking mad"
*rolls up in the Impala ipod blaring* “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF”
*walks in on Dean and Cas* “Looks like somebody’s into doggy—” “SAM I SWEAR TO GOD”
*mutters* “guess I’m in the doghouse”
i cant even make it past the table of contents im laughing too hard
What book is this? I must have this because of reasons?
friends don’t let friends bang cows
i need it
Comrade Squid will try to be the best he can.